CAN’T AFFORD TO DRIVE
The economy, it’s got us all worried
Seems to be on everyone’s mind,
A way to stretch out our paycheck
That’s what we’re all trying to find.
The dollar won’t buy what it used to
So we watch our pennies diminish,
The money has a way of running out
Long before the month comes to a finish.
There’s been a lot in the news of late
About how fast gas prices have risen,
The man on the street wants some action
Wants some gas execs going to prison.
Prices out west seem to lead the parade
Costs you a whole dollar for just one liter,
That adds a chunk to your credit card bill
As you watch that spinning gas meter.
It’s easy to blame the OPEC folks
It’s an oil price-setting cartel,
The cost is up on a barrel of crude
Rest of the world can go to well…walking.
In the fifties I bought gas at Slim Olsens
From a roller-skating-gas-hop named Alan,
Back then we thought we were paying a lot
Priced at nineteen cents per gallon.
If you think gas prices outrageous
And more than a few would agree,
Let’s talk about something we daily need
Something we used to get for free.
I recall it started a few years back
Names like Perrier, Evian and Dasani,
If applied to the world of fashion
Be like Sears brand versus Armani.
They talk of this famous French doctor
Bottles liquid from an underground flow,
When brought to a lab to be analyzed
The report comes back H 2 O.
Water, we’re talking ‘bout water
We used to drink it right out of the tap,
Now a dollar and forty-nine cents for
A nine-ounce bottle, that’s a trap.
A trap that we choose to fall into
Probably several times a day,
Over twenty-one dollars a gallon
That’s a ridiculous price to pay.
My wife walked by and just asked me
Who’d pay that for even an Evian label,
But you’ve been dining out and often seen
Bottles of Perrier, brought right to the table.
Well I’ve seen my wife in the airport
Pay two dollars for just a half-liter,
For a brand she thinks tastes better
That’s sixteen dollars on the gallon meter.
Consider that some purveyors
Start with plain tap water it’s true,
Oh, they filter it and give it a fancy name
But, that’s what most water bottlers do.
Then they slap on a designer label
Showing a pristine glacial source,
Or a crystal spring from deep in the earth
Spin doctors at work, of course.
Now it’s been brought to my attention that
Office printers have come way down in price,
Bought an HP one that prints color
Didn’t even need to think twice.
It’s the ink, that’s where they’ll get you
A gallon’s fifty two hundred bucks,
That same amount of money will buy you
Two, twenty six hundred dollars trucks.
So, let’s spend our way to solvency
Drink our water from the kitchen sink,
Go back to writing our emails by hand
And let our printers all run out of ink.
By Glen Sherwood, 5/08
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